Story of Hope
I had spent the day in the hospital next to my mom hearing from different oncologist specialists about how they would treat her cancer if the results would indicate it was their specialty.
In the knowing it was more than likely cancer mixed with all the unknowns of severity or type, there were only 2 things I know I needed to do:
1 - go home and get a big, tight hug from my husband
2 - to text my counselor
The news came the next morning confirming a gynecological cancer diagnosis.
I was in charge of calling certain people with the news once we had a diagnosis but no conversation was harder than sitting on my counselor’s couch that day.
I handled each conversation with such grace and elegance. I got good at explaining how each step of the process led us to this momentous news. I did my best to share our confidence in the doctors and most of all our confidence in God.
But here I am in front of the one person that could see straight through to my heart.
“Thank you so much for texting me last night. I’m so proud of you for reaching out. Tell me what’s been going on.”
The elegance and grace were out the window. Heck, I didn’t even bother to bring them with me. I left them in the car.
“My mom has cancer.”
The room goes dead quiet. All we can hear are the white noise machines in the hallway.
The silence finally gave way to the tear-dam breaking. Tears (and lots of snot) drip down onto my lap.
I can see the scene today. I’m dripping out of all sorts of facial orifices and she’s quietly walking across the room to the tissues.
Our conversation eventually led to deep, unrelenting prayers.
“Tell me what you are feeling.”
“You know when the woman touches the hem of Jesus’ robe?” She nods knowingly. “That’s how I feel. I’m on the ground in the dust and dirt and I’m stretched all the way out and I’m reaching for it. I’m barely able to touch it but I’ve grazed it.”
2023 - This was supposed to be “the” year. I was blessed and honored to marry Jacob this year. I thought, “This is it! We reached the mountain top.”
But in 2023 we reached the top and very quickly slid to rock bottom.
And here we are in Week 1 of Advent, the candle of hope. And this, my story of hope.
Hope can be big and bold, like in Romans 12:12 (the verse I’ve clung to in this season).
Rejoice in our confident hope. Be patient in trouble, and keep on praying.
Hope can be desperation like the women reaching for Jesus’s hem in Luke 8.
Hope can be dangerous to some. I believe rulers like Stalin and Hitler feared hope because if there was hope in their people, they had something to live for, something to fight for.
Even the fictional ruler, President Snow of the Hunger Games, feared hope when he said, “Hope. It is the only thing stronger than fear. A little hope is effective. A lot of hope is dangerous.”
Think about the poem written by the Jew in the concentration camp about believing in the sun and in God even when they couldn’t see it - hope [source].
While I’ve shared my story of hope from this year - of desperate reaching for the hem of Jesus in my darkest days - there is an Advent story of Hope.
Imagine this - you're a Jew in Isaiah’s time. You’ve heard the stories from your family hundreds of times.
Your ancestors were slaves in Egypt. God anointed Moses to rescue them. They went literally through the Red Sea to escape. And God promised them this amazing place of milk and honey called the Promised Land.
But your ancestors weren’t the smartest. They wandered away from God and roamed the wilderness for 40 years (longer than you’ve been alive!).
But God delivered them. God has appointed judges, kings, and prophets over and over again. But the story is always the same - deliverance, backturning, redemption. Deliverance, backturning, redemption.
And now there is this guy named Isaiah. You’re in the deliverance stage just like your ancestors before you. He tells you about this child. He tells you your broken government (that will no doubt turn its back on God here soon) rests on this kid’s shoulders. And this kid - he is going to be from God. He will be wise, mighty, everlasting, and peaceful. What do you see in the endless cycle of your people? Hope (see Isaiah 9:6-7).
The Advent Story of Hope is about the dark endless cycle of the Jews being broken by the “But God” moment of Jesus. The Advent Story of Hope is that hope was dangerous to the enemy. He made many people believe that their back turning on God was the end. But God said there is hope - a dangerous and confident hope that breaks the darkness.
The Advent Story of Hope says even a small thread of Jesus’ garment is enough hope for Him to do great things.
Side Note - I later learned from TikTok (a very credible source) that counselors giving their clients tissues is a very controversial topic in the counseling realm. I, however, was grateful because I had no idea tissues were right next to me.
