Life Has No Breaks
I think the biggest challenge of living on Earth is that there are no breaks. When the world seems like it is caving in, there is NO pause button. You can't just call a time out and figure out how to make it all work out. You just have to "suck it up." When the world breaks your heart, you can't just say, "STOP!" and expect the world to stop while you attempt to mend it. Life doesn't work that way, and that is really are to accept.
The world has broken my heart in so many ways lately and I'm torn in what to do, how to handle it, and how to fix it (if at all). It has taken me years to break down my "trust walls," but I have. I took them down to build relationships that could build me, but in taking down these "walls" it has also allowed unwanted visitors to break me down. So what do you do, build them back up or leave them down for the sake of those relationships?
Well it comes down to this: feel hurt, beaten, and broken because of relationships that have made me who I am today, or forget the relationships that mean the most to me to avoid those feelings.
Option 1:
Why push myself through something that could potentially ruin me? These unwanted people have hurt my relationship with God (although they are "supposed" to be building that up), beaten my hopes and spirits and pretended that it never happened, and lied to me to make themselves look "better." It is so easy to just say forget it and move on. Change my life to make it easier on both parties.
Option 2:
James says that perseverance builds faith. I could make it hard on both parties. Push myself to suck it up to show that I won't stand for crap. Because I'm young, doesn’t mean anything, but that they are older. I won't let them push me away or put me down because I'm better than that. I'm God's child. I'm His and no one else's. He won't let me give up or back down. I won't pretend that none of it happened, because it DID! I don't need my mommy and daddy to stand up for me because guess what I'm 17 and I'm capable of standing up for what I believe in. No one can bully me because I'm better than that.
What option should I take? Hmmmm…option 1 is tempting and definitely easy, but option 2 makes a better statement. I've taken option 1, one too many times. Now it is time to stand up, for not only what is right, but for myself. I need to show them that I'm better than what they are trying to do to me. During Taizé, I found those broken pieces and fell in love with God all over again. He told me I am His and He has a purpose for me. Guess what…He won't break that promise because He loves me.
World, there is a new BFry in town, so…
BRING IT!
